WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?

Fear is one of those double-edged swords. If we fear that our life might be endangered, the fight-flight-freeze reaction sets in precisely because of fear, which is actually helpful—it enables us to deal with menacing circumstances. Each of these reactions has its own consequences, some more favorable than others. Fear also makes us more cautious, preventing us from running headlong into a difficult situation.
But what happens when fear becomes an unconscious excuse not to do something?
Off the cuff, I would say that fear prevents us from moving on, taking risks, daring to be a little different, trying something new, leaving a toxic relationship, being who we truly are, and expressing our wishes and needs. The list could go on and on.
What do we fear most? Often, it’s what other people will say. Will they find me worthy or good enough? Will they still like me? Will they criticize or shun me? Have you noticed just how much influence what others might think has on what we say or do? Being judged, even by complete strangers, is one of the things we fear the most today—especially because anyone can post anything online without having the courage to debate it or present proper argumentation.
Then there is the fear of failure, which again often ties back to what others will say. While we can eventually overcome the pain of not succeeding at something, our environment will rarely let us forget it. Many will even revel in our loss and sorrow.
What about the fear of being alone? Why do we continue to cling to unhealthy relationships and people who bring us nothing but pain? Because we fear that we will be left alone, that we will never find someone new who will like us for who we truly are.
Fear paralyzes us. It stops us from moving forward, taking constructive risks, or making changes, even when we know we should. The fear of what ifs is perhaps the worst of all, because it keeps us from acting in the face of the unknown. In a relationship with a narcissist, fear is often amplified, leaving us insecure and doubting our own sanity.
In the end, fear prevents us from leading a full life, a life aligned with our wishes and desires. Being afraid means surrendering control of your life to someone else. It means giving up your power. It is far worse to live in constant fear than to take the risk that something magical could happen. It might not work out at first, but at least you would have tried.
Don’t let others intimidate you because of their own insecurities. Be brave, take the risk, assume responsibility, move on, and be happy!