Letting go is something most people are incapable of doing. Hence, they get stuck in the past. The more they are stuck in the past, the more they start to glorify it, even if the current perception has very little to do with what had happened, or how it felt.
It seems that letting go of a failed relationship is one of the most difficult things to do. Why? For a variety of reasons. Perhaps the person was the love of your life, and you believe that you will never love like that again. Perhaps the person died, and you have regrets that you hadn't told them everything you think you should have. Maybe your last conversation ended badly, in an argument or with harsh words being said, and now you feel bad that you no longer have the possibility to make amends. Or it could be that you're so blindly in love with someone who is out of reach that you prefer to live in a fantasy than face the reality of that person not giving a damn about you.
Whatever the reason, the fact remains that you are stuck in your fantasy or illusion of "could have, should have, would have." While you're living in the past, you're missing out on the present. You aren't opening yourself up to new possibilities. You're denying yourself the chance of having a meaningful relationship with someone new. You're closing the door to new kind of happiness. Sometimes this fear of letting go is a defense mechanism or a self-punishment. You believe that you're incapable of creating a new life for yourself or that you're not worthy enough to deserve happiness, or you're just afraid of being hurt again. Maybe you think your moving on would be a betrayal of what you had with that special person.
While these are to some extent understandable reasons or excuses not to move on, in the end they hamper your progress and prevent you from living your life fully. Releasing and letting go isn't easy, but it is much better to be in a position where the releasing and letting go is a process controlled by you. Imagine how it would feel if you were on the receiving end of it?
Therefore, be brave, take heart, believe in yourself, and trust in life to present you with new opportunities. Release and let go of whoever is holding you back. Nothing quite like the present moment to do that!
“If we want to change the world, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. That is why I love real people who say what they mean and mean what they say. No fluff, no lies and no pretence.”