STOP BEING A PEOPLE-PLEASER

Taking responsibility is of key importance when it comes to personal growth. That is one of the first lessons people learn when they come to therapy.
​Have you ever caught yourself denying and suppressing your needs and wants as you strived to please someone else? Have you noticed how your sense of self and self-image fluctuate depending on what other people think about you?
Are you an emotionally independent person or an emotionally dependent people-pleaser? If the latter, then you are probably familiar with the sense of dread and fear that envelops you when you consider that others will not accept or love you if you show your true self or state your opinion.
What would happen if you took full responsibility for your life and stood by your decisions, even if things did not go as expected? Taking responsibility for how we feel, act, and think is what leads to empowerment and personal growth. Otherwise, we quickly fall into the permanent role of a victim, focusing only on why life is unfair and who is to blame.
Remaining stuck in the victim role keeps us blinded, perpetuating a spiral of self-sorrow and helplessness, until we collapse and wonder if life is nothing but suffering. Life is not that – it is full of opportunities if we are brave enough to seize them.
The first step towards true empowerment is made when we take responsibility for our lives. When our sense of self-worth depends on others’ opinions, we continue to engage in dependent relationships, preventing ourselves from living in line with our desires.
Everyone has flaws, makes mistakes, and experiences fear or shame. Taking responsibility allows us to navigate turbulent times because we know: if we got ourselves into trouble, we have the capacity to get ourselves out of it. By assuming responsibility, we learn from mistakes instead of blaming others.
When we realize that we dictate how we shall live, we can leave a toxic relationship, change jobs if we feel used, say no when we don’t want to do something, stop being a puppet for manipulative people, and attract people who share our values and wavelength.
We only have one life, and it is up to us whether we spend it in line with our wishes, principles, and values. True, our starting points differ, but we all share the desire to lead a beautiful and happy life.
We cannot be liked by everyone, and that is okay. What matters most is that we like who we are, live responsibly, and gain clarity about our life purpose or mission. This leads to peace of mind and heart, which is what truly matters in difficult times.

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