Here's the thing - if you think you need help, or just someone neutral to talk to, then going to see a therapist is a good thing. There is absolutely nothing shameful about that. In fact, once you overcome your shame and the "what will other people think" concerns, you're already taking the first step towards personal growth and empowerment.
You wouldn't believe how many people, in this day and age, still struggle with shame when they first sit on the couch and start telling their personal story. Many believe that seeing a therapist, or asking for help in general, is a sign of a personal defeat. Some kind of weakness of character. Too many confess they feel like losers because they weren't able to resolve their problems by themselves. Luckily, this feeling soon passes when clients discover that going to a therapist is like going for coffee with a friend. Well, almost. The key difference being, we don't normally drink coffee in sessions, and the therapist is way more objective than your bestie. We see things from a different angle. Also, we have a better understanding in the way people think and react, and why they do it - so we can provide some interpretations and answers to your incessant "why, why, why?". Best friends are usually well-intentioned and try to help the best they can. Unfortunately, they often support us in the "poor me" way of thinking. I frequently say to my clients that seeing a therapist is the same as getting a coach at the gym or a tax adviser to help with taxes. Get help and support from the people who can give it to you. There is absolutely nothing shameful in that! Quite the contrary. People who ask for support are brave and know that they are the ones living their life, hence what other people think or say of it, matters little. People in therapy are those who are seeking a better life for themselves and we can only applaud them for it. While I'm very much in favour of personal responsibility of each individual for their life, I'm also very much in favour of asking for assistance when we need it. Would it sound better to you if you were doing coaching sessions? Training for a marathon with a coach? Well, therapists are coaches of some sort. We help you navigate the troubled waters your life has drifted in and we teach you how to do away with the negative patterns that are preventing you from living genuinely and fully. Not to mention that a problem shared is a problem halved. Some problems are really not as difficult as you believe them to be. You just need someone objective and emotionally uninvolved to help you see the issue from a different perspective. Therapy works, that is a fact. What kind of therapy and which therapists are best? Well, all therapies work, not equally well, but they all work. As for therapists, choose one you feel comfortable sharing your intimate thoughts with. Someone whom you trust and feel like they know what they're doing. In the end, it's you who's doing all the hard work. All the success is yours to have. All you need is a skilled therapist who will know how to guide you to your goal.
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Katarina's Principle:“If we want to change the world, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. That is why I love real people who say what they mean and mean what they say. No fluff, no lies and no pretence.”
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